A Letter to Ticketmaster

Below you will find a letter that I had written to the wonderful people about my experience with Ticketmaster - Woof

To Whom It May Concern –

I would like to express my total dissatisfaction with my entire ticketmaster.com experience.  Aside from painful things such as childbirth and the breaking of a bone (which I have experienced neither FYI) I pretty much compare my experience to the equivalent of  what I imagine what both of those scenarios would produce as far as pain levels are concerned. 

           

You see, I had 1 question – that could of easily been provided with the purchase of my VIP ticket confirmation, however obtaining the answer that I had to my one simple question, was about as difficult as what I imaging the ongoing quest to find the Arc of the Covenent, the Holy Grail or even the Tomb of Nefertiti’s grave has been.   

You see, it started when I turned to the all-knowing internet and went on your website to try to obtain a phone number to reach out for contact.  Yes – a phone number, not an email address that even though my question was simple enough not to be misinterpreted, I felt that talking to a human being – rather than waiting for an answer to my simple question that literally would take 5 seconds to figure out would be much quicker an a streamlined process.  Boy was I mistaken.

I called the Ticketmaster Toll Free number that was provided on the website at 5:35pm on February 18^th.  The first time I called, the line was busy – so naturally I had figured one of two scenarios – 1. I had unintentionally dialed the incorrect number due to a short attention span and a mild case of number confusion. (Numbers anger me, there are just too many of them) or 2.  There may have been a high volume of calls due to the 20^th snow storm that has hit the east coast in the past 10 days.  I continued to dial the number multiple times for 10 minutes with the hopes that I would get through (I guess that is just the Italian stubbornness in me) and not hear what may quite possibly may be the worlds most annoying phone sound on the planet.  The “busy” signal tone is a sound that basically mocks you upon hearing it.  It’s like that bully in 4^th grade that taunted you because you wore glasses, or the smack in the face you get when you are starving and all you want to do is order a pizza, but you can’t get ahold of anyone.  So naturally – with each monotone beep I received every time I redialed the number, the angrier I got.  

Finally, in my frustration, I realized that there is always a corporate number somewhere, so again I scoured the internet searching for it – with the hopes that I could get the answer to my question that I needed, again from a human being.  That’s when I happened to obtain the number to the corporate offices in Beverly Hills, CA.    Upon calling, I yet again got a busy signal, and after what may have been the “headsmack” heard around the world, I continued to call until I actually got a real live human!  Just when I thought I saw hope, I was then directed to a different phone number in Virginia that the gentleman assured me that I would be able to get an answer to my one simple question.

When I dialed the number, I had that feeling you get when you go out on a date with someone that you really like – a little nervous but excited that this may be the “one” – and when I got the tone of a phone actually ringing, I literally wanted to put a ring on it.  But that hope dwindled very shortly when it continued to ring and ring and ring and I got no answer.    I know what you are thinking…I sound bi polar and you are probably thinking, “No wonder this girl is single in her 30s, she is never satisfied with anything.”  Where you maybe partially right, I really didn’t expect to go on an emotional roller coaster with Ticketmaster that involved feeling both rejected (busy signal) and then ignored (constant ringing).  If I wanted to feel those emotions again – I would just get back together with my ex-boyfriend or every first date and last date I’ve been on since 2013. 

Then we made some progress – I didn’t get a human, but I got the next best thing – the opportunity to leave a voicemail.  I considered this a win for “Team Question” considering it was the most progress I had gotten in the 45 minutes that I had started the “Quest for a Damn Answer”, so I left a message with the hopes that this was yet not another dead end (similar to my love life).  I didn’t expect to get an answer that evening, considering it was after standard business hours – so I heald out hope that maybe, just maybe I would get the answer to my question, and I went to bed feeling positive.

When I woke up, I was feeling pretty lucky, so I decided to give another try with the 1800 number provided on the website.  I probably should of played the lottery that day – because I was able to get the automated system.  So after I plugged in my numbers and got directed to the appropriate department – I was put on hold for 5 painful minutes.  Within those 5 painful minutes – I listened to the worst on-hold music I have heard in my life.  Its bad enough U2 was forced upon my Iphone without my permission – but now I am feeling even more violated because now I’m feeling that like the Government – U2 is EVERYWHERE.  I can’t hang up because I already have an investment in this call – but I don’t want my ears to bleed.  So as I heard the pennies of the undeserved royalties being added to U2’s bank account as I had to sit through the 1 minute song excerpt – I finally got a hold of a human after 7 minutes.  After giving my account information and getting through the entire “getting to know you” process with my rep, he then informed me that since this was a VIP Package – that I had to call the VIP toll free number to get an answer to my question. 

So let me get this straight – now, not only do I not have the answer to a very simple question that should have probably been printed or sent with my ticket – but now I have to call an entirely different division of the company – that the phone number was also not provided for me at the time of my VIP purchase.  I can deal with losing 7 minutes of my life – even if 3 of it was listening to U2.  What I cannot deal with is the 32 minutes that I was on hold with the “VIP” line.

The last I checked VIP meant “Very Important Person”.  Yes, I may have not dropped thousands and thousands of dollars on a meet and great, but it’s the principal of the fact.  I would of felt more important wiping my ass with a $100 bill, flushing it down the toilet, and then going through this process.  I’m not trying to tell you how to run your company by any means – but lets think of something logical here.  If you are given something to build, you are provided a set of directions.  Now mind you, most men will ignore the directions and build it how they think it should be built while women sit on the side lines and bitch that the man is doing it wrong, but the point is – there was information available to go on the right path.   Call me illogical because I am female, call me crazy – but wouldn’t it make sense to provide me with the VIP phone number if I am purchasing a VIP package?  I know…this sounds about as crazy as things like flying cars, robot butlers and the the ability to fly without an airplane, but wouldn’t it make sense? 

So after being on hold for 32 minutes and a different set of U2-less on hold music, it was equally as annoying to listen to the automated voice tell me that I should either call back or email you, due to a high volume of calls (again probably why I’m single, never satisfied).  Now I really feel that Ticketmaster is making me feel less of a “Very Important Person” and turning in to in my mind a “Very Inadequate Place” or if you really want to know what I’m thinking at this point, “Very Incompetent Prick” (the entire experience, not the people or anyone in particular).  So finally, after waiting on hold for the same amount of time that a Family Guy episode runs, I was done listening to the On-Hold voice instruct me for probably the 75^th time to either email you or hang up and call back later.  I was greeted by a very nice woman named Ranisha.  She proceeded to ask me the general questions needed to bring my account, and finally after asking my very simple question, she informed me that the VIP Ticket hotline could not in fact help me and that I needed to be redirected to the phone number that I had called previously, because it was a local event and since it wasn’t a national event they couldn’t help me.  I literally wanted to scream, however trying to be polite and not wanting to strangle the messenger, I kept my composure as she transferred me not only back to the number I had originally called probably 15 times in less than 12 hours, but also back to the land of forced U2 music excerpts.  I was less than excited.  Another 14 minutes went by that I was on hold again – tallying up to 48 minutes of my life that I can no longer get back on account of being on hold.  I then got ahold of Maggie.  Again asking me for my account info, I shuttered at the thought of asking Maggie the one question that I had, because at this point – I wouldn’t of been surprised if I would of gotten redirected to China, Indonesia or India.  Finally, after 48 painful minutes of being redirected through out your company, I finally got the answer to my question.  I’m sure after reading this you are wondering to yourself, “What was her question?”

The question that I was seeking an answer to – which caused me a painful 12 hour process, 48 minutes on hold and still as of the end of the business no phone call back from the voicemail that I left all I wanted to know was “What time does the VIP meet and greet start?”

I truly am going to cringe the next time I am forced to use your services, only because god forbid if I have a question about anything I need to block out an entire hour to get an answer.  Please re-evaluate your ticketing system and streamline information to customers.  If someone buys a VIP meet and greet pass – print the start time on the ticket, and perhaps share the VIP phone number with them.  If the time of the Meet and Greet is unavailable at the time of purchase – send out a courtesy email.  Simple solutions that can prevent headaches like what I had to go through.  I’m not telling you how to run your company, all I am asking is that you please 1. Remove all things U2 from your on-hold music – I mean come on, isn’t this like beating a dead horse already?  And 2. Make the “VIP” process, which in lieu of making me feel special – it actually made me feel like a redheaded bastard stepchild (no offence to the person reading this if you are in fact a bastard redheaded stepchild, I’m sure you were loved equally) more “VIP” like.  If I’m paying not only admission to the show, whatever cut you take, and then an additional processing fee- I feel as if I should be getting some additional service here.  I’m not saying I want a mariachi band greeting me at the door, or a parade down main street in my honor, but a 0 wait time policy or direct line to someone would at least be a good start?  Print the start time on the ticket?  Or email me when you know?  

Thank You For Listening