Men and
Women have always struggled when it comes to the definition of crazy. A guy may consider 40 phone calls in less
than 2 hours to be crazy, where a woman may find it as her own personalized way
of showing that she cares. Some women
think it's a good gesture to show up at a location where the person they are
dating is, unannounced. Most men would
consider this to be stalking, and would quite possibly want to jump off the
first bridge that they see.
I don't like to consider myself
to be a stalker, at least not while I am sober, get me drunk and that is quite
the different story. For the most part,
I went from being that sober needy girl that would freak out if she didn't hear
from a guy within several minutes of sending a text, to the girl that has since
decided to not give a fuck (in the politest way possible). When I look back at my failed relationships
as well as failed dating excursions during the 24-27 years (you know the glory
days), it hit me like a ton of bricks as to why things didn't work out the way
I had hoped for.
Looking back though, some of the tactics I used to try to keep a guy,
would have fallen in to the category of borderline psychotic. It's funny how with age and life experience your entire perception on things change.
I had
asked via Facebook, as well as some close friends of mine to share with me some
experiences with "crazy" women.
Now by definition, crazy means: A mentally deranged person. I guess it will be up to you to decide if you
feel that these women's actions where justifiable or crazy.
"High School Drama"
Submitted by Anonymous
I had been dating this girl for
about 6 months or so. Things initially
had be going well, and I thought that we both were quite happy to a certain
extent. Out of nowhere, one day, I get a
friend request from a person who claimed to be a friend of hers from high
school. I figured what the hell, a girl
that went to hs with my gf, even though this is a little weird at least we have
a mutual friend, just add them and get it over with considering there would be
a chance that I may run in to her. A few
days later, I receive a private message from this person, claiming that she
went to high school with my gf at the time.
I was really confused because there was no profile pic and when I asked
my gf about this girl she claimed she didn't know her, but trying to be polite
I just ran with it. At first I didn't
think anything of it, we had only exchanged a few messages during the few days
that this happened, and the messages where very causal (Hi how are you? How is
<insert girlfriends name> etc. There was something off about my new
friend, she had a similar typing style, mannerisms, even made some comments to
me that my gf had said. My gf began acting very weird from the minute
that I told her about her friend adding me.
I really didn't think it was that big of a deal, unknowing what would
happen a couple of days later. Out of
nowhere my girlfriend goes completely ape shit on me, telling me that this
"new friend of mine and hers" is telling emailing her telling her that
I have been taking her out on dates and cheating. Clearly this was not true, considering I had
saved the conversations and I am not that type of person. It
wasn't much long after that everything clicked together and it finally dawned
on me... My gf created a fake profile and tried to set me up to
cheat. The sad thing was, I knew it was
her behind this, and yet she proceeded to continue living in her fantasy world,
denying that she had anything to do with it.
Finally, disgusted and totally appalled that this girl would stoop to
that level, I had enough, and broke up
with her.
Ahh,
this is like a 4 on my crazy scale. It
sounds to me you probably weren't showing this girl enough affection, so in
order to fulfill her need of being an attention seeking whore, she decided to
result in the high school version of "let's try to catch him." I don't find her actions impressive
considering this is an avenue that women if not actually do it, at least
consider it in an effort to find out if their man is cheating. Every girl reading this is probably shaking
her head saying "no, not me I never thought of ever doing something like this." To which I call you out on your self-denial
bullshit, especially if you grew up during the internet/aol/icq/instant
messenger days. If this person were
choosing acting as a profession, I would probably call her dumb, give her an
eye roll, and tell her that the next time she wants to play a role in the real
life version of "Revenge,"
maybe she should take acting lessons on how to be discrete. Being this entire idea is as hysterical yet
as one sided as a Road Runner vs. Wiley Coyote battle, one has to sit back and
think for a minute where this girl is now.
My guess? she is probably scoping
out dudes on plenty of fish, with not just 1 profile, but a profile for each
personality.
"Don't Be a
Menace"
Submitted by Anonymous
I
will gladly accept any cute girls FB request, especially if she lives within a
10 min radius of my hometown. I'm from a
small rural area where everyone knows everything and everyone, so getting
requested by someone new to me, is about as exciting as free soft core porn on
late night tv. So when I received a
friend request from a very attractive 23 year old, I was all for it. We ended up just being acquainted, we never
communicated, we were just connected through Facebook, so you can imagine my
surprise when I am at one of my frequented drinking locations one year later, and
a pretty girl approaches me and tells me she recognizes me from being her
Facebook friend. Me being a bit older
than her, was shocked as to how insanely hot she was and the fact that she
remembered me. We drank for a bit, got
better acquainted and she told me she
had 2 children from a previous marriage..at 23... Instinctively I knew this was the absolute
worst situation I could of ever gotten myself in to, but I didn't care. My mind was telling me no, but the alcohol
was telling me yes, which resulted in us spending the night together. I was amazed, she seemed normal at least after
the first 2 days anyways..Normally if you can get past the first 48 you are
good right? Wrong... She had invited me over, which made me
realize that this wasn't turning in to anything but a fling, but let's be
honest, when in Rome.. I went over to her house to accommodate her needs, when
I fell asleep. Mid-sleep, I felt a lot
of movement going on in the bed and just assumed that she was tossing and
turning. Half awake, and naked, I went
to turn over to see what was going on, and there, laying in between us, is one
of her young children. Not thinking this
was normal, I put my boxers on and told her I was leaving, to which she then
officially introduced me to her small child as if it was normal
occurrence. I don't have children of my
own, however this certainly didn't scream "Mother of the Year" award,
and I left. Still being a little weirded
out, I decided to back off for a couple of weeks to clear my head and just keep
our contact at a minimum of texting. It
was during this time that I found out
that she was an ex stripper. During these couple of weeks of limited
communication, she had managed to blow up my facebook wall, and by blow up I
mean: Liking every single one of my status's dating back to 4 months prior to
us actually meeting, commenting on almost every single picture that I had ever
taken, and my favorite: taking cliché token bathroom mirror pictures in what
seemed to be every public bathroom in the area with the infamous duck face
pose, and tagging me and only me in them, for all of my friends and family to
see. It was not to my surprise at all,
that every weekend since that night, she happened to show up at the bar that
she knew I frequented. A week or so
later, in a drunken moment of weakness, like an idiot I went home with her,
unknown to me that she was stone cold sober the entire time and decided to take
full advantage of the situation. I felt
awful, it was bad enough that this girl wanted more from me, but the last thing
I intended on doing was stringing her along and told her that I no longer
wanted to see her. 3 days later, I
receive a text from her. It started out
normal, only to turn in to, "I have been feeling nauseous for 3 days now,
I feel like I may be pregnant." It
felt like I was reliving the scene from that movie, " "Don't Be a Menace
to South Central While Drinking your Juice in the Hood." Freaking out because this was the first time
I had ever been put in this position, I called Shelby looking for insight as to
what the hell I was going to do. After
her laughter subsided, she then proceeded to give me the "birds and
bees" talk about a woman's cycle.
Being that it was Shelby explaining it to me, the thought of stabbing my
eardrums out with the sharpest object came to mind, but she was surprisingly
insightful. She assured me that this
girl was just being crazy, and it is damn near impossible to show any kind of
pregnancy symptoms, especially if you start feeling them 4 days after you get
off your period. "She is totally
bluffing, I would just ignore her," is what she said to me. Feeling a little bit better, I decided to
tell this girl to take a pregnancy test to allow me to sleep better at
night. She took the test and it was
negative, to which I was relieved. I
called Shelby with the good news, only for her to kill my spirits. "You dumbass, she is 2 weeks in to her
cycle at this point, any test will come up negative, the earliest you can test
is 7 days." Fuck....I have to deal
with this for another week? During this
time, her "symptoms" are getting worse, and she is fully convincing
not only herself, but me as well that I may have an illegitimate spawn of my
own running around, so I started mentally preparing myself for the worst. 2 weeks later I hadn't heard any news, so I
assumed I had dodged the biggest bullet of my life. I told this girl that her penis privileges
were revoked and that I would not come near her ever again without a full body
condom. After being put through this, I
decided it was time that I completely ignore her, to which she tried even
harder. I literally had to have my
friends go to the bar before me to tell me if she was going to be there or not,
and if she was, I went elsewhere. Not
too much time had passed before she had moved on to someone closer to her own
age. Within 1 month she had been talking
to me again, except this time telling me how much in love she was with this
guy, and how happy he makes her. I knew
this was an attempt to make me jealous which didn't work whatsoever considering
2 weeks later they broke up. As if this wasn't enough, she
starts again, this time intentionally tagging herself in a picture that a girl
I had been dating at the time commented on. Shortly thereafter, her mother
friend requested me on facebook.
Apparently her mother did not get the memo that her and I were no longer
talking because her mother messaged me to inform me that her daughter was
missing and asking if there was anything I could do to help find her. On top of
all of this, I later came to find out that she is still legally married and
rather than making any effort to reconcile with her "husband", he
just drops money off in her mailbox.
I am fortunate to have friends in my life that make things
entertaining. This girl clearly gets a 8
on a scale of 10. I don't know what is
worse, the fact that she is 21 years old and smart enough to do the "I'm
pregnant" trick, or the fact that she relived the scene of a movie that
was released when she was in diapers.
Granted she was 21 and has a lot of growing up to do obviously, but a
true player takes the time to learn about a woman's cycle.
Granted by doing this, it would put the Maury Povich show out of
business, but when it comes to girls like this, there is very little hope of
change and she needs to find a guy that is equally crazy and slightly
dumber. I feel like the whole "pregnancy
scare" card is about played out as the song "Party Rock." If someone is in this dire need of attention,
maybe they should sign up for dateaninmate.com, at least they can be reassured
that those men aren't going anywhere, literally. I would only want to be friends with this
girl for the sheer entertainment to watch the crazy go down. She would be a great wing woman. She can attract all of the guys, and I will
just stand by being the "supportive friend" so that when she scares
them with an unwanted pregnancy, the guy will look at me as being way more
normal, and come flocking to me. I don't
know why I haven't thought of this genius plan before, I would never have to
troll the internet looking for men ever again.
Thinking w/ my Second Brain
Submitted by Chuck
When I got my first
real Monday through Friday job, I sat in a cube, pretty much like most of the
rest of the working world. I always felt
that having a cube, you needed to make sure it had a personality, one that
reflects you. So that being said, mine
was decorated with a few Navy items, but most of my desk was covered with Star
Wars figures, WWF action figures, and Legos.
Mind you, I was 25 at the time, so as a male, you know it will be at
least another five years before I finally mature and have no use for any of
this crap. My first kiss/girlfriend was a co-worker. The next girl I dated was
a co-worker. The last girl I dated? Yep,
you guessed it . A co-worker. Third time is supposed to be a charm in most
cases. In this case, third time was
pretty much my penis saying “It’s been a while and I think this is a good
idea.” Good thing I no longer listen to
my second brain.
I was still new to the
travel company, and I had spotted a new girl during training. Our office had outings like happy hour and
whatnot, and she was always in attendance, however I didn't really catch a vibe
from her that she was interested so I just let it be. Next thing I knew it was Valentine’s Day I
randomly joked how I thought it would be cool if I got flowers for Valentine’s
Day. And what do you know, I did.
So, as it turns out, the
coworker overheard me, and she sent me the flowers. So, I took it upon myself to ask her
out. We had dinner and at the end, playa
made a move. I went for it and kissed her goodnight. This went on for about a
month. After that, I’m thinking, “ I
really think it’s time to close the deal here. It’s been
a month. What the hell are you waiting for?”
Seeing as how this was the first girl I had dated in quite some time, I
wanted to make sure I wasn’t a jerk and wanted to make sure I was a nice guy
and not pushy.
Anyhow, at work, she
was acting strange, and would start arguing with me over nothing, or start to
tell me how she didn’t think I really liked her, and that she was ugly, and I
thought she was ugly. I would tell her
no that’s not true, and it would take all day to convince her of this. Then, like a flip of a switch, she was all
happy and bubbly and giddy, and wanting to meet in the hall to kiss and things
like that. Then, the moment came. And I
finally had sex with her. But, it was
not in the ideal location. I was happy. I’m a guy, what the hell did I care. We continued having sex and this is when
things started going south. One day I
walked in on her in her room, and she was standing there holding the ID badge
of her previous boyfriend from his place of employment. She was fired from there before she got the
job with my company. I asked her what
the hell was that, and she said nothing and threw it down. I blew it off, and the petty arguing and the
“you don’t think I’m pretty” arguments continued. One night, she asked me to go with her to her
friends place. I did. I felt uncomfortable the entire time. Her friends seemed a little snobby, but I
didn’t want to judge because, well, they were her friends. I sat with the guy
in the room while she and the girl were in the kitchen getting drinks. It took a while, so I went in to find her,
and she was smoking a joint. Now, I have
no problem with people doing this. It’s
not like I’ve never done this, but it was just weird. She was really giggly and goofy and I wasn’t
sure what to make. I was just
uncomfortable and wanted to leave so we did. Her friends thought I was a
“square” but that wasn’t the case at all.
I just didn’t feel like I was in a good situation. As it turns out, I was right, because she
told me that her friend and she were also doing coke. This was pretty much when I decided it was
time to not date anymore. That’s when I
decided to end things.
She called every day,
nonstop. She would constantly start
fighting at work, but I would pretty much ignore her, making her angrier. She was really starting to get clingy, and it
was affecting all of us on my team. I
was approached by management as was she, and I had to explain everything to
them.
One day, someone asked
me if I noticed anything from my desk missing. I told them I did not, but, then
I looked. I was missing a lot of things.
One of my co-workers caught her in the ladies room, screaming and
crying, stomping all over my action figures and Legos (mind you she did me a
favor there really) and flushed some and threw them away. I was kind of mad about it, to which
management had to intervene again. She
was given a warning. She would still
call non-stop to the point where my parents were ready to change their
number. I would be out now and again,
and she would magically appear. I had no idea how, but I was pretty much being
followed I guess.
At the time, the City
paper used to set people up on Blind Dates. I went on one. Everyone at work knew, and I told them about
it. The next week, the write up was in the City Paper and everyone read it, and
got a kick out of it. After work, it was
off to Circuit City for my second job. She called there all the time too. That day, she called, and she was pissed. She
flipped out on me about the blind date.
I told her that we’ve been broken up for three months, and we had only
dated for two, and I was going to do whatever the fuck I wanted to, and I hung
up on here. In less than an hour after
the call, she was in the store flipping out.
My manager offered to call the police and I told her no, I’d handle
it. She approached the customer service
counter she threw a box of Legos at me to “replace” what she stole from my
desk. I told her to go outside, and I met her.
She pulled a classic movie scene on me.
She was screaming and crying, and pounded her fists on my chest like a
drum, screaming “why don’t you love me?”
I grabbed her fists, but not before her nails caught my face. I went home with a huge scratch along my
cheek. My mom flipped. She had called me within minutes of my being
home and my mom grabbed the phone. First
time I ever heard my mom use the f bomb.
It was awesome.
Eventually, she was
let go via a “lay off” and that was the last I ever saw of her. This girl really scared the shit out of
me. I saw a chick at the bus stop once
and I thought it was her. My chest got real cold, and I waited for the next
bus. I was scared shit less.
A couple years had
passed, and our office ended up closing to where I had to get a job with
another travel company. I trained in
Squirrel Hill, and as I looked at the employee list, I saw her name. My heard dropped, and I looked at the trainer
and asked if she worked there. She
did. I heard her voice and I was
freaking out. Still, I knew I would work
in another office anyway. I found out
that she stated to cry because I wouldn’t say hi to her. Hell no was I going
to. Needless to say, I quit.
To be perfectly
honest, this girl really scared the shit out of me. I was afraid. I was afraid
that she would do something to me to really hurt me. I really haven’t dated anyone since her. I’m not sure why. However, I now recognize the crazy eyes,
thanks to her.
Well
Chuck, sounds to me like your ex was in fact the poster child for crazy
psychotic. Girls like this give all
women a bad reputation, and sound like she has more issues than People
magazine. The flowers were a pimp move I
will give her that, but to go from totally normal to apeshit in less than a
month? That sounds like an episode fit
for Dateline. She covers all levels of
crazy, which is why I am awarding her with a 10. She not only managed to be a stage 30
clinger, but she also showed signs of stalking, obsession, bi polar disorder
and mental instability. Seeing her drunk
would of been fun and money making experience for me. I would totally be willing to get her drunk,
and prop her on a street corner on East Carson and charge people admission to
"ask a crazy bitch" similar to that of a fortune teller. To listen to the babbling of a drunk girl
talk about how insecure she is would be a great morale booster to my customers
,both drunk and sober. Getting to this
level is like hitting rock bottom, however I'm sure she has found a new and
exciting way to be even crazier since you dated her. I leave you with 4 words that I bet you will be able to see
what she has been up to lately - Allegheny County Criminal Database.
Keepin it Real -
Shelby
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