The freaks come out on Halloween weekend

Halloween by far used to be one of my favorite holidays. I remember trick-or-treating up until the age of 16 or 17. My final trick-or-treating consisted of dressing up as one third of a member of the powder puff girls hopping in my 95 Ford escort and driving around town trying to hit up as many houses as I could. I remember running to one house completely oblivious to the fact that I was running straight into a wooden enbankment. I fucked up my shin pretty good but even with blood running down my leg like I just had my first period, I continued on my quest to acquire as much candy as I possibly could, only for my dad to eat all of it within the next the days following. With that logic in mind I'm seriously considering renting someone's child next Halloween. 

Some of my fondest memories are from my early 20s getting all skanked up with some of my best friends at the time and hitting up the craziness of the southside and what used to be Station Square.  Before husbands and babies and a horrible boyfriend's it was just a group of friends that went out got stupid drunk and acted a fool and those were some of the best years of my life. But unfortunately with each passing year came marriages and children and the large group that once used to dominate the dance floor started dwindling and getting smaller and smaller. Eventually when you become one of the last people that are single in a group of friends, Halloween becomes less and less exciting. You find it harder and harder to find people that actually want to go out to bars because it seems like once you are in a relationship and or married you go from the bar circuit to the house party circuit. Not that house parties are a bad thing but it's very difficult to meet new people when you're confined to a house full of all of your friends for a night, unless they intentionally invite outsiders that they are trying to set you up with. 

Throughout all of this online dating bullshit I have met people that seem to tell the same story that I can relate to. All of their friends are either married or have kids so none of them can really be at each other's disposal. Halloween is a supersensitive time of year because it pretty much is determined based on your social status where you end up. I have been blessed to acquire a set of friends that give me the best of both worlds. I was able to go to both a Halloween party at a friends house where I didn't have to dress skanky and could be amongst friends, but I also have single friends that allowed me to go out to the bars and dress exceptionally skanky. Some people are not as fortunate as I am. 

I had removed myself from online dating after finding myself yet again in a situation where I had met an asshole who took total advantage of my hospitality and kindness. After wasting three months being an emotional crutch to a guy that was going through a very rough time and sounded like he needed a friend, only to have said friend stop talking to me after a drunken conversation that I don't even remember, I felt as if I had been taken advantage of and was super pissed off for like a day. I thought by trying to be a good person and lend a supportive hear that I would be paying forward all of the good karma that has been happening to me recently, but it turned out to be another fluke and just another selfish asshole tally to my on going list. 

I gave myself a three-week mental vacation from online dating but as I was getting ready to go out for round one of Halloween festivities, I had a super huge epiphany. For the first time in a very long time the person staring back at me in the mirror felt confident and sexy. For the longest time I had little to no self-esteem which is to be expected when you have an ex-boyfriend the constantly would point out your imperfections. My least fondest memory was the times that he would walk up to me grab my stomach and shake it and in his Billy Madison voice say "he is going to be a soccer player" on a regular basis. After falling victim and allowing him to strip me of all of my self-confidence and self worth, as I looked back at myself in the mirror on Friday, I felt a huge sense of not only accomplishments but confidence. My biggest regret is probably that I allowed him to take those attributes away from me, but it doesn't matter because now I'm a force to be reckoned with. I went from looking in the mirror and saying ill "I wouldn't fuck that with Ron Jeremy's dick" to "goddamn I'd hit that". What a difference a couple of years makes..

With that being said it was time to go back on even if it was just for the weekend. Showing a lot of TA and especially since the girls looked fantastic and both of my outfits I decided to reinstate my profile. My entire profile became an invalid due to my "do not message me if" list considering I specifically tell people not to talk about my body parts and here I am a flashing them all over the place but I decided to have a little bit of fun with that and see what I can conjure up in the spirit of Halloween. Let's just say it did not disappoint... 

Just for reference this is what I woke up to after reinstating my profile for only eight hours

I accumulated 54 messages on Saturday morning 24 on Sunday and 20 on Monday. I'm trying very hard not to remain stereotypical however this is a perfect example of how stupid men can be on these websites. The only thing that has changed about my profile is the color of my hair. My do not message me if list is still there along with all of my other witty comments. But yet I post a new picture and almost to 100 men think I am a new user and fresh meat. Of those hundred men most of them I had either previously talk to or previously intentionally ignored. The moral of the story is that if you actually read a profile and pay attention... you wont look like an asshole to the female online population. I have noticed this happens numerous times when I change my hair color.  I literally go from 2 to 3 messages a day to half of the goddamn site messaging me

With that being said let me start out with messages that don't even warrant responses:

This is a fun convo he is having with himself....

This is by far one of the most unintelligent people on the planet 

Maybe when I figure out what a bich is or what fukkin means, this may have some sort of relevance..untill then stay classy asshole!  

And now for the responses: 

I'm sorry, you are just too damn dumb for me...

Switching it up... Here is this quality specimens profile description. (FYI this guy has been featured in previous blogs) 

So what girl wouldn't want a guy who is not only into astrology, claims to be a "pleaser" but also openly admits that he's only roofied seven women and his entire sex life. 

Keepin it real-

Shelby