Speed Dating - The Chuck Hull Perspective

So here it is, April 12th, and I'm about to venture into something that I never

thought I'd do.  I'm about to enter the world of Speed Dating.  I'm not sure who came up with this concept, or even how it started, but it's definitely something I never thought I'd do.  Thanks to Shelby, I now am doing this. And thanks again to Shelby, I'm not doing it alone.  But, let's make sure I set the record straight. She didn't talk me into it. She didn't have to persuade me. She said "wanna do speed dating with me?"  I pretty much said, "why not?"

   

                First a quick little note about me.  My name is Chuck, and I'm a 39 year old single guy living in Pittsburgh.  I'd like to picture myself as one of the nice guys out there, but I'm sure I have my moments just like everyone else. After all, I'm only human.  I'm not sure why I'm single, but that's probably one of the dumbest questions I think I've ever heard anyone ask anyone.  "You're such a nice guy, why are you single?"   Oh gee, I don't know, probably because your uptight ass won't let me get past first base, or even a hello?  (See, I'd like to think I'm a nice guy, but I have the same bitterness that lives inside us all.  haha)

    

               How did I meet Shelby you may ask? Well, you probably won't, but I'll tell you anyway.  Outside of my normal job, I DJ on the side. I was working at the Boardwalk (remember that shit hole?) when I met Shelby. She was a rep for Iron City at the time, and of course since I thought she was pretty damn attractive, I was gonna chat her up and see what I could get out of her. (not that way so stop it.)   It was summer, hot, and I was thirsty, and she provided me with plenty of free IC Lites. That's how I roll. But seriously, I chatted her up with my coworkers, and we just kinda became friends. I don't hang out with her as much as many of you  (to which in her drunken state on Thursday she reminded me at least a dozen times that we should

hang out more. I'd agree,) but it was time to hang out with her for an adventure in Speed Dating.

             Speed dating.  How was it? Would I do it again? Was it worth the $25.00 sign up
fee?  I'll get to that later.  I head over to Shelby's right after work to pick her up, and we're both a bit nervous.  Like any normal guy, I like to make sure I look nice when I'm in a group setting you know, just in case I may meet someone.  And, like any single guy should....VALUE THE OPINION OF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!  I took three extra shirts with me to Shelby's and pretty much told her to dress me.  She did.  Yeah, I've got that backwards for sure.  We were not sure what to expect so we're making jokes about the kinds of people we may meet. Will there be really old people? Will there be creepers, nut jobs, baldies, extra large, etc.  Not don't get
me wrong, good people come in all shapes and sizes, but we're both a little freaked out about what we're getting into.  I know Shelby wanted to do this for her blog, but I'm sure she didn't mind meeting someone as well.  Me? Well, I'm 39 and single, and I'm doing it to back up Shelby, but at the same time I'm thinking it would be nice to meet someone. I've never been married and I'm fucking 39.  This for me, is a huge step. I've been on dates before, but it's been a long long time.  Oh crap, the drive is over and we're here.

                We walk into Bossa Nova, and we're not sure where this shit is going down.

We're a bit relieve to see quite a few people there.  It's about 6:30pm, and there
are probably about 30-40 people here.  Not too bad at all.  It was a nice mix of people, so we're both thinking positive things.  We ask the hostess where the speed dating registration is and she points to our right, and there is no one there but the people holding the event.  Yeah, those people?  They're not here for the speed dating.  Shelby and I get our name tags, and they brief us the night and we decide we now need a drink.  I don't see any women yet.  It's pretty much Shelby and myself, oh and a guy named  Guy 1.  I'm not going to use names.   He was pretty open and started talking to use and we were finally joined by another woman.  I think

this was when Shelby and I kinda ignored the other guy to talk to the woman, and well I had my reason for doing so, and I'm sure Shelby's was because she found this conversation more interesting.  Shelby found a new best friend and we're not drink two into the night, and we haven't even started our "dating" yet.  SIDEBAR - There was a group of cougars at the bar that asked what our name tags were for, and we said Speed Dating.  Then good old Shelby proceeds to tell the Cougars that "this is my best friend Chuck. He's single, and he's really awesome, and you all should talk to him."  Ain't she the best!  They did say they were all married, and she asked "happily?"  Gotta love her!

  

                 We see more people walking in finally for the speed dating, and we do a quick

shot, and head up to where we needed to be.  There are finally more woman, and seemingly more men.  We find out they had 14 men and 12 woman registered.  Two women did not show up.  So it's 14 to 10, and Shelby likes her odds.  At least I think she does.  They go over there rules and it's pretty much this: You get six minutes on your date, and you can talk about anything you want.  After the time is up, they'll ring a bell, and the men proceed to the next number.  The tables are marked 1-14, and you move up each time.  I'm to start at number 11.  Great. I'm starting out alone....again....which is pretty much why I'm here right?  After all the rules are explained, the host asks if we have any questions.  Well, I'm kinda goofy, and a
whole lot of nervous, and maybe a bit tipsy and I blurt out "Yeah, where's my date?"
 In a goofy dorky kinda of way.  That was met with a good old fashioned patented Shelby eye  roll, which was then met in turn with a stern finger pointing from me while lip sinking "don't roll your eye I'm scared shit less."

                It starts and my self and the other three dateless guys talk to the host in just normal small talking fashion.  She rings the bell and I get up and move to the next table. I sit alone for six minutes staring off into space. Ring Ring, table 13...take a call from my parents...ring ring table 14 and I'm still sitting looking at the ceiling.  I shoulda danced on it.  Anyhow, when I look back at this, I moved three times from one empty table to the next.  I don't even know why I moved because there was no one at any of the tables. You'd think I'd be smart enough to just stay where I was and talk to everyone else until I had my change to get to table 1. Nope, I moved to three empty tables and pretty much felt stupid.  But ring ring....time to talk to girl number 1.

                I'm pretty loosened up at this point and just start talking with a simple how

are you blah blah.  I opened up with the fact that she was the first girl I got to talk to so far, but after spending almost four dates with myself, I found me to be pretty awesome, and she had some tough competition. She actually laughed at that, but it's all about the delivery I guess.  She seemed very nice, and it turns out that my world got small talking with her.  She worked for a company that my company deals with on a regular basis.  We were both very familiar with each others jobs.   Yep, world got small. 

               Girl 2 was her friend and co-worker, and this one was just as nice.  This one I was immediately attracted too.  Great smile, gorgeous eyes, and just plain wowed me.  All of a sudden, bell rings.  I wasn't ready to leave.  Six minutes goes by fast. Real fast.  We took a quick break for snacks, but then back to business.

               Girl 3 was just a year younger than me, and I found her very attractive as

well.  Shelby adored her and was really pulling for us to be a match.  I could kinda tell though that I was probably not her type, but still, I gave it my all in six minutes and enjoyed chatting with her.

                Girl 4 was where things started to slide.   Right off the bat she states that she has questions for me.  I pretty much ended up being grilled.  She was basically interviewing me.  And not like in a nice way either.  Just the tone of her voice was all serious and business.  She then goes "OK I'm done with my questions I guess we can talk now."  Um...huh?  Ok, Chuck charm time. I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt and still be me and chat her up.  "So, how are you tonight, are you having a good time, or what made you do something like this.'    She replied with "well, after four lousy years with my ex....."   Screeeech.  Yeah, only a minute into our six, and she's talking about an ex with such hatred.  This conversation is clearly over.  She brought the ex up a total of 3 times in six minutes.  Yeah.  NEXT!

               Girl 5 and 6 were also friends and very young.  24?  I thought the minimum age was

supposed to be 27?  Oh, and girl 5? She wasn't even from here. She was from out of town visiting (well that's what girl 6 told me.)  She was very nice, but she also kinda wasted the time of 14 men by being here.  Thanks for that.  Girl 7 didn't seem too interested in chatting, but the first words out of her mouth was "I need a Jager Bomb."  I hope she realized she was perfect, because any girl that likes Jager is a keeper. 

               Girl 8 was a single mom, and extremely cute as well. I give her all the credit in the world because she seemed very nervous and a little shy, but for a single mom to give speed dating a shot takes guts, and that to me is just awesome.

               Girl 9 was our girl Shelby!  We took the opportunity to go to the bathroom since we

knew each other, and Shelby pretty much walked into the men's room with me because she wasn't paying attention blabbing away about the guys she was meeting.  The bathroom attendants just stared at her like um.... I couldn't stop laughing.  Shelby admitted that she might be drunk, and I told her I figured.  When we got back to the tables, we found out they paused all the dates while we walked away.  Oops.  We told them we knew each other and just decided to go to use the restroom. Then Shelby burped. Loudly.  I could not contain my laughter.  She is the best speed dater ever. Hands down.  I do this again, I'm not doing it without her.  

The last girl looked like she was about as interested in me as she was the other 13 guys.

That was it.  The dates were over. Now what?  Well, at the start, we were given
a sheet of paper.  We were to write down each dates name, comments and circle either "let's date" or "sorry not interested."  I circled four let's dates and pretty much ney to everyone else.  I got my results early the next morning.   Three of the let's dates, said the same for me, so they considered us a match.  They also provided information for girls that said yes to you, but I said no too "just in case you were really undecided and want to give them a second chance."   I pretty much know who said no to me.  Their loss because like I said, I spent the first 24 minutes with myself and I'm just plain fucking awesome.

               OK we're done, and now what?  It's only 9 o'clock on a Thursday night and we don't want this to be a waste of a night. Shelby is pretty drunk, but not too drunk, and she's ready to party.  I can't lie, I was ready to go out too.  I was wide awake (thanks to 5 hour energy.)  We did get a chance to talk more to some of our dates, and we did try to get everyone else to come with us. Well, actually that's a lie. Drunk Shelby did.  I knew not what I was in for. I only read about it, but now I get to witness it first hand.  Truly the best speed date partner ever. 

               We went to Jekyl and Hyde for some karaoke action.  Android and iPhones are all fine and dandy, but the video cameras lack light in a darkened bar.  I may have recorded Shelby's

drunken rendition of "I will Survive" but we'll never see it because the video is so dark.  Mind you, even drunk, she kicks ass on vocals.  We also will not be able to see our local hero Big Tom busting out get low, and good old Shelby putting out the bump and grind on our long haired

friend again due to lack of lighting.  Four of the guys from the speed date did show up, and were all very eager to talk with our Shelby.  She made four new friends that night.   Go Shelby!

What did I learn from the night?

               I love Shelby and love being her wing man. She however sucks as a wing woman. At least that's what she told me about four times.It's actually not as hard for me to talk to woman as I thought it was.  And as it turns out, some if them even like talking with me. Bonus.Six minutes is not a long time. It, in fact, is practically six seconds.Shelby's mom somehow knows I rock, and we are now Facebook Friends. Awesome.Planking on the floor of Jekyl and Hyde is NOT recommended. There you have it, well from what I can remember.  Thursday was a fun adventure, and I would probably do it again. I know what I may have written may not have been as entertaining and crazy as what is normally in this blog, but Shelby wanted to try something different.  In this case you got me, Chuck (aka DJ Qwik at Jekyl and Hyde every other Friday night hint hint) and what is was like for me in the world of dating.  I came out of this with restored confidence believe it or not, and I hold out hope that there is someone out for me, and it's not too late just because I'm 39.  Oh, I also learned that I need to not buy as many Cherry Vodka cokes for Shelby as I did.  She likes to plank when you give her that many. 

Keepin it real from a guys perspective.....Chuck