Battle of the Sexes – Craigslist Style

            All is fair in love and war, or at least it’s supposed to be.  After the last Craigslist experiment, I decided to up the ante.  Men and Women will dispute that one sex is worse than the other when it comes to love.  Women think most men are pigs that have no morals nor know how to treat women.  Men think most women are crazy, obnoxious and gold diggers.  With that being said, I couldn’t think of a better place than Craigslist to test this theory.

       With the help of my best friend Mike, we decided to put ourselves out there and see what kind of reaction we would get.

We both posted the same ad and included actual pictures of ourselves:

 

Hi, I’m new to this site so I don't know what to expect. But I am   looking to date with the potential of more. I think fairly highly of myself. Good morals, good family, a house, lots of friends, and a secure job. I"m looking for someone with similar interests, attractive, similar sense of humor, and a good person in general. If you are interested, message me and we will find out if we have a match!!! Hope to hear from ya!

Mike posted on November 15^th, 2011.  He hasn’t been flagged and his ad is currently still on there.  As of November 23, 2011, he had received 3 emails.

Here were the 3 emails that he received…

Hey,

You're 2 cute! Do u date Black women?

            I can’t really make fun of this one…I mean she’s up front and honest.  There’s nothing eluding, creepy or weird about it.  Not saying that there could be something off with her upon getting to know her, but right off the bat I got nothing with this one…

Hey what's up? Your really cute stud :) We have a lot in common. We should talk more?

            I really can’t make fun of this email, other than the stud comment and that it sounds like a cover letter.  Being that this girl called him a stud, I can’t imagine how old she is.  I believe the last time I ever heard anyone referred to as a stud, it was in the movie Grease, which doing the math…I’m going to guess she’s in her 40’s and possibly 50’s.  Overall, pretty normal other than the fact she says absolutely nothing about herself.

i am 21 i am nice sweet out going fun to be around. Looking to have fun and be safe too. I like to stay in shape. Im 100% real. well, thanks for reading. hope to hear from you soon.

            This email is slightly idiotic.  “Looking to have fun and be safe too.”  I may not be a gynecologist, but I can see a when a girl is serving up her vagina on a table.  In her next line she feels the need to mention that she likes to “stay in shape”.  I bet you do…I bet you like to make the best of any situation when you trip, fall, land on some random guys dick and just think “oh hey, I’ll catch a quick work out.”  After reading your first few lines of ridiculousness, I’m going to assume that when you say your “100% real” you are referring to your boobs.  Congratulations on 2 things: 1. For not outgrowing of your “college whore” mentality and 2. Thinking you have the intelligence to communicate with anyone over the age of 25. 

And now for the main event….

I posted on November 23^rd at 12:30 p.m. I was flagged at 2:55 p.m. that same day. I lasted approx. 2 hours and 25 min and received a total of 41 messages.   Where most of them were totally normal, here are some ones that would care to highlight.

So, tell me more about yourself and what you like to do for fun.
Also, where from? I am in Squirrel Hill, am professional, normal and
VERY fun and am always usually up for doing something .... meet for
drinks? Busy this weekend? I may be free Friday or Saturday evening
.... let me know ... there's a great band playing down the strip ....
that might be fun ...

Dear Fun Police –

            Unfortunately, I cannot hang out with you this weekend. I can already see where this relationship will not work.  You see holidays are a chance to hang out with people called friends, which clearly you do not have.   If you were VERY fun, you would have friends that you would already have plans for both Friday and Saturday night to go out.   Being that you are that readily available to meet this weekend, I'm going to assume that you are probably a total tool that will attach  to me because you have no one else. I’m guessing that by the emphasis on the fact that you are VERY fun, you probably are not fun at all and are living in self-denial.  I hope you didn't already purchase 2 concert tickets, because it's not going to be VERY fun for you going alone. 

Hi im david I ike to go out and have fun I like to text I have a job I do not have an kid wood like one on down the way I work out u can text me at ------------ I do have pic I can send u I look 4 a gf

Dear David,    

            Due to the fact that you sent me 1 massive run on sentence, I’m going to have to take this one slow, just like your teachers did when you were in those “special classes”.  I’m glad that you enjoy things such as going out, having fun and texting, however, I envision text messaging conversations with you being very exhausting. You have officially not only mind fucked me, but you have also caused me to go cross eyed trying to figure out what the hell you are trying to say.  “I do not have a kid wood like one on down the way.”  Oh you “wood” like to have a kid down the way huh?  Let me give you a little piece of advice – Unless you learn how to properly communicate with women, the only way you will be producing any children is via the local sperm bank.  

Hello there

I'm 24, 6 foot 3, 220 pounds, short brown hair, have glasses and some facial hair

once you email me back id love to send you over a few photos

I live and love going out right here in the strip district, so with tonight being a great night to have a lot fun, i know that you and i would definitely be able to really enjoy ourselves together

- Henry

Dear Henry –

            Thanks for your response, has anyone ever told you that you describe yourself like a middle aged Harry Potter?. Unfortunately I will be unable to join you this evening for tonight’s festivities.  I am fully aware that tonight is a great night to have fun, considering when you were 17 sneaking alcohol from your parents liquor cabinet, I was drinking my face off  legally in a bar, but I think you are missing the most important part of my post.  You see as of 12:30 p.m. when I posted this, I developed morals.  Apparently you do not know what that consists of.  My moral idea of a good time does not involve drinking $15 martini’s that taste like toilet water in an area of town that has about as much night life as a graveyard.  “You and I would definitely be able to really enjoy ourselves together.”  Sorry Harry, err I mean Henry.  I’d much rather pick up an 8 pack of AA batteries and enjoy myself alone. 

So in conclusion, when it comes to the battle of sexes on Craigslist, there are more men on the prowl than women.  Heaven help them all!

Thanks to Mike Gaydos for being a good sport!

-Keepin it real..& Happy Thanksgiving!